November 11, 2016
What an exceptional piece of artwork to stumbleupon. I, of course, did not stumble upon it. I sought after it, after seeing an instagram post that said next stop D.C. I had planned my D.C. trip first by buying Lapsley and Aquilo tickets the weekend for the election two months in advance. I invited a friend, and off we drove up from Richmond. I knew there was going to be amazing art in D.C. but of this phenomena I did not know. This was my first encounter with a Nam June Paik piece of art, and wow! It is unlike any other piece of art I had ever experienced. Each state had it's own set of televisions, and on each of the televisions, there was something unique to that state playing. Something unique to Nam. California had O.J. teaching a fitness class.
The time and place that I was viewing the artwork also has special significance. Washington D.C. right before the 2016 presidential election with Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump. We all thought that Hilary was going to win. Well, anyone living in CA and in New York that is. The rest of the country felt otherwise sadly, and it's a truly a heartbreaking american moment to have Donald Trump be our next president. There are people protesting out of the streets by the hundreds of thousands. Our country is truly divided. Looking at this art, in it's presence - I felt like America could be united. I saw it. It was in front of me glowing in bright neon and television screens. Oh the great American wonder, just to be flushed down the toilet. Lady Liberty cries with all of us.
September 23, 2016
It was one of those hot incendiary east coast summer days, with a high of 100. Sweat perspiring out of every pore, down your lower back, and slowly, but oh so slightly and uncomfortably down my bouncy buttchecks in a short summer dress. What comes next - that feeling we all know ladies - swampy crotch. "Time for some shade," I said to Doris. Picture Picture, let's keep going. 'CLICK.' 'CLICK.' 'CLICK.' 'CLICK.' 'CLICK.'
New York. New York. Each time I visit you, you are more kind, and oneiric. I become more resolute in my actions of leaving Los Angeles. The past anxiety slowly crumbles like a sandcastle. Building my present, with new black and white feral tones, I taste hope. The grandest buildings to look up to, each person walking by, having the most expansive dreams. As I snapped this photograph, I felt like I was making mine come true. "Let's go to the Boathouse."
"Time for a Drink." Ice cold brews to be exact.
"Aahhhh, fuck yes," after the first sip of ice cold corona with that little lime shoved all the way through, nothing can save it now. Condensation from my grip cooling me down. Almost as refreshing as Hemingway's oysters in Paris, I thought to myself. HELL! - My eyes were giving me the most beautiful moveable feast ever. I pressed the bottle against my chest, and the water blissfully dripped down my decalogue. God it felt good. Now mind you, I grew up in the south, and there were some true testing moments of will in the summer heat. The hottest I can ever remember was horseback riding in the middle of summer, probably 100 degrees like this, but with brown leather chaps ON-TOP of my full length jeans, riding boots, tank top, black velvet helmet, AND gloves. It was the full epitome of hell. Reminding me now of Mike Nichols so perfectly directed phrase, "It's like riding a psychotic horse towards a burning stable."
We sat the outside at the bar and with overhead shading, and Doris starting talking in Hungarian to the bartender, a nice older gentleman. The history of Dracula, living in the castle. The boats were going by, and the sun was beaming. Those are the happy moments I think of while looking at this picture.
August 26th, 2016
I am putting together a new book of poetry. ALL THOSE FEELINGS FELT AND THINGS LEFT UNSAID.
July, 29th 2016
I've had this sail since around 2012. I bought it at a used sail shop in Newport Beach after sailing from New Zealand to Fiji in 2011. When I bought it I didn't really know what I was going to do with it - I thought I might cut it up and use it for canvases. Never got around to that, but for the last year in my Los Angeles studio, I have used it as a backdrop for photos and videos. The sail carried me. And what might have been a monstrosity to others, I would always look at it with delight. I am excited as ever to where it will take me in 2017. I am making some of the biggest moves of my life, and the journey is one that I cannot predict. I have always lived by the notion that when your heart is beating really fast and it feels like you are arms out jumping off of a cliff, that is living, and that is the feeling that lets you know you are on the right path. I felt it when I made my first big art sale. Will it get to the client in good condition? Are they going to return it? Oh god, I hope I packed it ok. I will always be an artist, but it didn't happen overnight. Art is not beauty or perfection. It is feelings and connection. You find the image beautiful because it emotes something within you. Well this polaroid speaks volumes to me on the journey that this past year has been. Let's see where the sail takes me and let's hope for strong winds.
Poem - Beastly Belly by Erin Tengquist